Post : When life puts you down? 5 ways to self help your emotional healing process.

Rumi says: ” What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle “

When life crashes you down, you are deep down in emotional pain which only you can understand and experience. The pain is very personal. Life can put you down in many ways and many times like unhappy relationships, physical appearance like weight issues, heartbreaks, divorce, death of a loved one, sickness, disease, injury.

When you suffer such setbacks, you have a natural tendency of denial and trying to move on as fast as you can. But in the process, the recovery remains incomplete or even worse. I have been a very sensitive person myself in my entire life. So, I have always tried to look out and read for various ways by which a person can recover from any emotional healing. According to psychotherapy, it is important to experience the pain and slowly let the healing process in. It is necessary to feel the pain to let it heal. There are people around you who may have genuine concern about you, will advise you to move on as quick as possible. But in reality, the healing process does takes time to fill up the wound completely.

5 ways by which you can support your healing journey.

1.Acknowledge the pain: Respect and honour your pain for which you have suffered so much. Be it an emotional trauma or a physical illness, acknowledge the pain and experiencing it are important. When you let your emotional pain in, when you are emotionally drained, then only you can let the healing process to begin. Emotional pain can only heal when you let the healing process in. No amount of time or people, psychotherapist’s guidelines can heal your pain unless you acknowledge your pain and let the healing process in.

2.Overcome your mental barrier: When we suffer some kind of pain, we think we are bad human beings, we have been punished for our bad deeds. This mindset needs to change. Everyone goes through some pain and struggle through life. Pain and struggle are a part and parcel about life ‘s journey. Then again, self-doubt starts making us think if we deserve to heal. Yes, we are all very deserving to experience and enjoy life. Certain issues like being overweight, not a conventional good look, can even make you suffer emotionally. It is important to remember, that life is way beyond the superficial things. Accept the fact that external appearance isn’t so important in developing connections. Learn to stop judging yourself.

3.Dig out the source: Try to understand the source where your emotional pain appeared. Maybe the heartbreak, maybe the physical illness, maybe an emotional trauma during childhood or pain due to death of a loved one. Because when you dig in the source, then can you initiate the healing. Knowing the root, and working on it slowly helps you start healing.

4.Letting go: Let go of your fear and anxieties: Overthinking and worrying don’t let you heal. You have to let go of your anxieties, stress and fear which in turn will harm you more than doing any good for you. Even in case of physical illness, when you let go of your stress, there is a balance of the hormonal, nervous and immune systems which are all very much part of the healing process. Emotional healing starts to happen when you let go of stress completely.

5.Learn from the scar: Whether it’s an emotional scar or a physical scar, revisiting and rumination aren’t healthy at all. Ruminating the experience again and again, not only becomes toxic but even make it more difficult to heal and move on from the pain. Remember, everything around you changes, even your body’s cells undergo continuous transformation and regeneration, so leaving behind the pain and the past does help you heal faster and start refresh.

Post: Thought hygiene determines your life, your wellbeing. 5 ways of practising it.

Science has already proved that every day, we generate about 70, 000 thoughts. Out of which, most of the thoughts are similar to those of the previous days. Some or most are negative thoughts of fear, worry, pain, hurt, anxiety which greatly affects our daily life and wellbeing while some can be positive thoughts of joy, gratitude, confidence, hope which helps us carry our day through.

So, our wellbeing, life, health are all driven by the thoughts that are generated in our mind daily. Therefore, thought hygiene is the continuous flow of thoughts that goes inside our mind throughout the day, about self, experiences and the world around us. If the majority of the thoughts are uplifting, or at least in coordination with our life goal, purpose, then it is wonderful and promotes our wellbeing. But when it is just the opposite or the ones which don’t motivate or uplift our life, then it is time to consciously put a continuous effort to change our thought hygiene.

4 simple ways of practising thought hygiene.

1.Awareness: Make a conscious effort to observe your thoughts every day. By simply observing, is already a big step that you have taken to control your mind. When you are aware of your thoughts, what kind of thoughts preoccupy your mind most of the time in the day, why and when do the negative thoughts come? You are simply taking charge of your mind. The more you become aware of them, the negative or the unwanted thoughts cannot affect you any longer. Slowly, you can turn those negative thoughts into positive and at least make them no longer affect you.

2.Change your inner attitude: It is important to change our inner attitude or approach towards life. Take life and experiences with lots of love and humour. This also means stopping yourself to take everything very seriously. Any experiences daily with life, personal, professional, social should be accepted as they are. Overthinking and analysing makes them bad or good. In this way, at least, you can accept life with more smiles and pleasant experiences.

3.Observing your behaviour: Start observing your behaviour, your action. Your habits are not formed today. It has been practised for quite a long time to turn them into your habitual behaviour and action. So, to change them, you need a continuous effort and awareness. We always blame or complain of ourselves or others for anything that didn’t happen as it should have been. Self-analyzing and self-criticizing is somewhat a subconscious behaviour that we have with most of us. Again criticising others or blaming others for something or the other is a common behaviour. So, when we become aware and start correcting or at least make a continuous effort to change such habits, thoughts and attitude, actions are bound to change and life becomes easier.

4.Start each day with a positive thought: Postive thoughts and affirmations are very powerful. At least, when you start the day with a positive thought, then carry on throughout the day with the positive affirmation, even if the day didn’t go so well, the negativity or the unpleasantness doesn’t affect you much. You still end the day with hope and look forward to the next day. When you are already thinking negatively, you are internally negative, none of the experiences in the day can be an uplifting or happy experience.

Post :Fear Factor !

Fear Factor !

In each one of us, life runs with a common drive, call emotion. Whatever action we do, there is an emotion behind. Not only human, but all animals have emotions. So, fear is also a basic emotion, an instinct for a potential danger. 

Whenever we see, feel, sense some kind of danger/threat, biologically, the amygdala and hypothalamus in the brain get instantly activated. The stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline are pumped in the blood stream which result in rapid heart beat, high blood pressure, dilated pupil, tightening of big muscles and sweating, ready to run, fight or response. Actually, this is our biological mechanism, a protective response which helps us to survive. Fear, as an instinct is not bad at all. In fact when fear comes, our mind becomes focus, sharpened at the particular task and we can perform better. It is an adaptive mechanism.The instinct is short lived and the body comes back to its normal homeostasis.

Feeling little fear for an upcoming event, job interview, exam, speech, stage performance is a natural instinct. In fact, it would help you to be more focus on the up coming task. Instinctual fear for fire, height, speed or some kind of potential danger to life is all natural. So fear is adaptive and protective when short lived. 

But then, why fear affect us ? When fear becomes habitual, crippling, excessive, it will eventually affect our mental and physical health. When fear is imaginative, irrational, unrealistic, it gets you into real trouble. It will affect your daily life. Then, it is no longer instinctive. It becomes habitual in the sub conscious mind for some imaginative events or ideas which is not even real or that has never happened. In such cases, it is very difficult to get out of such mind frame. Constant fear can lead to anxiety. Anxiety and stress not only have negative impact on your health but also the daily functioning of life. To get out from a habitual fear, a default sub conscious programme, you need to be constantly aware of such moments. The most important thing is your will power, the trust and belief in yourself to bring out the change. This is not an easy task. But, yes, it is possible and you can overcome fear eventually. At times, professional help might be necessary, if the situation is out of control. 
When it comes to fear, childhood is an important phase. Unrealistic, irrational fears inculcated in childhood may result in anxiety, phobias and even panic attacks in future life. 

Simple tips to overcome your fear in everyday life. 

Start facing your fear. The first or second time, you may tumble, but slowly you will overcome. 

As I have already mentioned, by being more aware of such moments, know yourself why you get anxious or fearful and being prepared for such moments. So next time, when it comes you know, it is just your imaginative mind. Take a few deep breathes, and it goes away after a while.

Try maintain a calm mind, exercise, yoga and meditation surely helps in calming the mind. 

Your spirituality or faith in something that is higher than you makes you feel connected and safe.

But lastly, yes, if fear is out of control, medical/professional help is necessary. 

Thanks for reading.

Peace and love 🙏


Post: 10 tips of eating healthy🙌

Eating healthy is easier and cheaper…

Local produce

Eating healthy isn’t complicated or fussy. In fact,it is the easiest option if we make it a way of life, a daily habit. 

Its time to erase all our myth about eating healthy.Common myths are eating healthy is expensive, being difficult due to non availability of resources and circumstances at work, travel and so on. But the truth is if we have a will to do so, we can make it easier always: The most common simple ways can be :

1. We should always eat the locally available produce in whichever part of the world we live. Whole grains, pulses, vegetables and fruits which are locally grown, which are in abundance in your region, fresh and not expensive.

2. The most important component in our body is water which comprises of 60 to 70%. So, it is very essential for our body’s wellbeing. Moreover, drinking water is easily and readily available resource in major parts of the world. And, we know drinking water is a healthy habit. The more we hydrate ourselves, the more healthy is our brain and body, not to forget the added benefit of glowing skin and complexion. But the problem today is we always opt for aerated water, soda, cola and alcoholic drinks. So in fact unhealthy drinking is expensive. If we carry our water bottle, it’s not just cheap but healthy too.

3. It is not only enough to eat healthy but also to keep a check on the portion of whatever we eat. Not only at home, but in work place or wherever we travel, it is important to eat in moderate portion. Eating in moderate portion is the most essential tip to keep a check on body weight. 

4. We have read enough, by now, that eating healthy is curbing sugar, excess fat and avoiding processed food. The simple logic behind this is healthy food are preferably raw, in natural form and which are not over cooked and their natural nutrients are restored. So the best option is to carry our home cooked food, fresh veggies, fruits wherever we go. If this is not possible, we need to choose from the best options available at that point of time.

5.The wisest way of shopping healthy is sticking to our grocery list (Buy items which are necessary ). Buy unprocessed , generic brands which are less expensive and healthy. Sometimes, seasonal fresh fruits ,veggies, sea food are expensive. So frozen fruits and veggies are cheaper option. Off course, sea food and meat should be fresh. Grains, pulses can be brought in bulk to save some amount of money. 

6. As mentioned earlier, choice of best option of food easily available is not only wise but at times cheaper. Instead of meat ,switching to beans, pulses are better choices. Instead of junk food, gorging some nuts or a fruit whenever hungry is way better. Instead of dining in a restaurant, celebrating at home with home cooked meal is not only cheap but a healthier option.

7.Left overs of food are great option to use our creative cooking skill for the next meal time. So the freezer is our great friend.

8. If you have a yard at home, growing your own veggies is a very wise option. If not, at least have some pots of herbs on your window balcony for ready use.

9.Above all, eating should never be associated with entertainment or pleasure. We eat to live, grow and nourish ourselves. Eating three proper meals a day is more than enough.This is actually the concept of intermittent eating (eating in specific timings).Gorging a fruits or a handful of nuts whenever hungry is just normal craving.

10.Only eating healthy is not enough. Physical activities, exercises, movement of our body are very ,very important to maintain a good health. Lastly, maintaining a calm mind, meditating, relaxing are very essential for holistic life. 

Thanks for reading.

Peace and love 🙏



Self healing….

Our body has the unique power and capabilities of self healing. No matter what you are going through, your body has the power, knowledge and wisdom to heal on its own. Its time to start exercising this ability…

The hidden truth about our own body is it has an innate capacity to heal on its own in all possible ways. Our body is not a single entity, in fact it is a community of 50 trillion cells which are in harmony and work through a single guiding voice, our mind. The mind and body has a natural homeostasis to keep us in a healthy state of being. The body does not go where our mind doesn’t take it. But then, why do we fall sick ? It is because due to our daily routine stress and a host of emotional and physical strain, this homeostasis is disrupted. Hence, comes the disease state ranging from common to severe illnesses. Therefore, our normal state of being is completely disturbed. So, when this happens, awareness of this state is our first intention.

Firstly , be aware of the internal or external factors that must have led to this imbalance. By simply being aware, we can slowly curb those factors from our life by conscious efforts. Slowly, we should try to restore back the natural balance in our mind and body, our natural state of being. Trying to focus on healthy choices in our routine life with a positive frame of mind. Once, this is done, our body starts healing on its own. Its spontaneously goes into a state of recovery. Though, this is not an easy task. Our belief to heal ourselves is the only driving force.

This is very unusual for an experienced medical professional like me to emphasise on self – healing. But, in reality , this is a genuine fact. Healing of any sort of illness happens when we believe that we can heal. Doctors and drugs can only facilitate the process. But the biggest problem here is that we don’t trust our mind and body. We don’t trust our abilities.

Subconscious mind

It has been in our subconscious mind that have been installed from our very childhood, if we fall sick, we need to visit a doctor, pop up a pill or need an external agent to heal. This has been hard-wired in our brain. So, every time, we feel unwell, we need some external agent to feel better. Above all, our mind is constantly nagged by a negative force, limiting beliefs, tons of garbage of wrong perceptions which we may not be even aware of. All these reasons clubbed together made us impossible to heal. 

Healing becomes very difficult, not just physically but even mentally. In fact, even without any physical ailment, we tend to feel sick because of our mental state. So, the simple tip to lead a healthy physical life is to have a healthy mind. If we have a strong, healthy mind, any kind of physical imbalance can be corrected eventually.

In our daily routine life of physical exercise, activity, at least some quantity of time is required to slow down , to meditate and relax our mind. If not possible in the daytime, at least before going to bed or early morning before starting the day. At the end of the day, we know, life is beautiful and short. And we have tons of reasons to be grateful for being alive.

Thanks for reading.

Peace and love 🙏